Exciting Times

Liam,

If you've been reading these in chronological order (and not cheating), then you know that one of the big questions hanging over us to this point has been where we're going to be living.  I know that's probably a funny thought to you.  After all, you've been growing up for who knows how long in the place that we'll end up picking, but as natural as that place probably seems to you, it's a big question on the table for us.

At this point, it's really down to two big contenders.  Either one could end up being the place, though they're very different places.  Here is the basic rundown:

1. Florence, SC.  This is a fancy hospital in a small town in South Carolina, where the weather is beautiful.  If this is the place where you grew up, I imagine that you have lots and lots of great memories of lots of time spent at Myrtle Beach.  You might have even learned how to surf at some point in our adventures.
2. Laconia, NH.  This hospital is located in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire.  If this is the place where you grew up, then I bet you have lots of great memories of hiking all up and down the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Like everything in life, there are positives and negatives to both decisions.  It's really high on my mind right now because we're going to New Hampshire tomorrow to interview for the job there.  I'm sure that you know this about me by now, but I grew up on the border of New Hampshire.  Even if we don't end up moving there, it is going to be really fun to show you and your mom all of the fun and incredible places that were a part of my childhood there.

I can't wait to find out where you're going to grow up!

Love,

Dad

Tragic Losses

Hey Weebs,

I've been struggling with how to write this one and what to say.  I'm currently in Michigan helping my best friend, your Uncle Jay, deal with the unbelievable and shocking loss of his wife Laura, who passed away last week.

Dealing with loss is hard, and it's even harder when it comes so unexpectedly. She was only 39 years old and she had four children, who are 9, 10, 17, and 19.

I've decided that there are three parts that I'd like to talk to you about.

Regret

One of the trickiest parts of loss can be the realization that you have regrets.  They can come in a lot of forms.  You might wish that you had appreciated the person who is gone more while they were with you.  You might wish that you had spent more time with them or that you had taken the time to let them know just how important they are to you.

Regret will always be there no matter what you do.  None of us are perfect, so that is the first thing to make sure that you tell yourself.

But you can also make an effort, every day, to maximize your efforts to combat these potential regrets.  It can be so easy to get wrapped up in everyday things in life.  But if you take the time to focus on the things that really matter every day, you will never regret the time you spend doing that.

Tell the people in your life that you life them.  More importantly, show them by making a real effort to spend quality time with them every day.

Grief

It hurts, Weebs.  It hurts to have a part of your life, someone important to you, taken away before their time.

But when you think about the pain, you should remember that it comes from happiness.  You can't have grief without love.  Terrible pain and grief at the loss means that you were given wonderful love and happiness by the person who is gone.  It's not easy, but focusing on that love can help to ease the pain.

Being there

As hard as it is to do when you're consumed by grief, you need to try to remember that there are other people in the world who still love you and care for you.  There are others who are hurting at the loss as well and who want to share their love and comfort with you.

The temptation to retreat away and hide is strong, and sometimes it can even be the best thing to do.  But, at other times, you should just let yourself be comforted and supported by those people.

Weebs, it's never easy, and you should remember that there is never a right or wrong way to grieve.  These are just some ideas flashing through my mind while I try my best to help.

I love you.

Dad